A Public Service Announcement - National Black Justice Coalition Summit

This is not another Pride celebration, but is instead an event that you can take pride in and become involved in a substantive grassroots movement to insure the civil rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered brothers and sisters. (See agenda) And in case you don't know, Keith Boykin is President of the Board. Given the current atmosphere of homophobia and religious conservatism in the black community, don't wait until they come for you. Be involved! Shem hotep!

Tying The Wisdom Knot:
Black lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil Rights Group Discusses State of the Nation Washington, DC 2005

On September 21-23, 2005 the National Black Justice Coalition will host its first Black Leaders Summit. The title of the Summit is "Tying the Widsom Knot: Bringing Together Our Leaders to Strategize for the Future."

The Summit will begin with a Welcome Reception on Wednesday, Sept. 21 at 6:00 pm and is hosted by Service Employees International Union.

The following two-days of workshops and plenary sessions will focus on a range of policy issues of significance to Black SGL/LGBT communities including strategies to combat homophobia and HIV/AIDS, the upcoming marriage battles and how to win fairness for same-sex families. Additional topics include the reauthorization of the Voting Rights Act and sessions on how to build local voter registration and get-out-the vote campaigns. The plenary sessions include: roundtable discussion and open dialogue with the chief executives of the nation’s leading LGBT organizations; a panel of top African American political strategists to discuss the politics and LGBT civil rights and marriage; and a Prayer Breakfast with important progressive religious activists and ministers to discuss homosexuality and the church . The Summit will end with a gala awards dinner with a special appearance by the NBJC Ensemble Gospel Choir and Broadway veteran and recording artist Billy Porter.

Confirmed speakers include elected officials from Palm Springs, California, the District of Columbia, Massachusetts and Wisconsin. Organizational leaders representing NAACP, SEIU, Black AIDS Institute, HRC, Freedom to Marry, GLAAD, Victory Fund, PFLAG, Equality Maryland, Equality Florida, Showtime, Viacomm and many others will also participate as both panelists and attendees.

“Black America stands at an important cross roads,” said NBJC Executive Director and CEO, H. Alexander Robinson. “...voices of bigotry are on the rise and all too often they are disguised as saviors of the Black family. Our families, Black same gender loving families, are being caught in the middle. This Summit is about breaking the silence and finding our collective national voice.”
"The Leaders Summit is an excellent opportunity for NBJC to gather some of the best and brightest minds in the lgbt community. We want to establish an open dialogue between LGBT organizations, elected officials and our African American brothers and sisters." We expect this event to be very beneficial as we develop our strategic goals for the upcoming months, said Ray Daniels, NBJC Communications Director."

The Summit is free, but requires pre-registration for all participants. For more information visit http://www.nbjcoalition.org/ or call 202-349-3755.

Hotel Reservations may be made by calling the Washington Court Hotel directly at 800-321-3010.

Visit the web address below to tell your friends about this. Tell-a-friend!
If you received this message from a friend, you can sign up for National Black Justice Coalition.

B'day weekend in NYC

It was a weekend for me to celebrate my birthday. I am rapidly becoming a creature of custom by spending my birthday weekend in NYC. There is something about "Gotham City" that seems to irresistably draw me like a candlefly to a flame. I did the usual play (off-broadway this year), dinner (Sylvia's in Harlem), and this year I added in several visits to Greenwich Village and other sites of interest. Met some interesting folks, renewed some old family relationships and got my feet wet in the Atlantic Ocean at Jacob RIIS Beach. Since I am flying solo these days, I was in a hurry to see, taste and experience NYC in about 36 hours including sleeping time. This trip was much like appetizers ( a little taste of this, a little taste of that). Next time I will focus on quality and not quantity.

First, Saturday night was my opportunity to head up to the House of Latex at the Roseland Ballroom and check out the scenery for the 2005 Latex Ball. Thanks for the tip Frank. Since the crowd was considerably younger than the birthday boy, I chose not to cross the street and get my feelings hurt. Good eye candy though. Ah, the younger days!

The play was "Joy" at the Actors' Playhouse in the west village. I probably would have chosen a different play and venue except I was curious about Ben Curtis (the Dell Dude) appearing in a gay performance. Okay, okay. He appeared to really get into the role of being the dumb gay lover of the professor. Other than that, it was so-so. Try to find bargain tickets if you go. The more interesting part of the theater visit was the computer assigned the only 2 black males in the theater to adjoining seats. He was tall, chocolate with a throaty bass voice that really got my interest during the first act. But any potential was lost during act 2. During intermission, he went outside and must have smoked a pack of Marlboros. Also, the throaty bass voice turned into a bass countrified laugh in Act 2 that was definitely a turn off. By the time he got around to rubbing his leg against mine, I just wanted him to move - Ewww! Anyway, Sunday evening at Sylvia's Restaurant in Harlem. This is not my first time, but I have never experience the long wait line mentioned in several restaurant reviews, and the soul food cooking reminds me of Mama's table. The fried catfish, collards and pickled beets (shut up, I love 'em) washed down with Mimosa was definitely the high point of the trip. And hey, it wasn't as exciting as Keith's birthday bash, but you slow down as you get older ;-). Why, if I was 40 again ..... Happy Birthday Keith .

So, what was the best part of the weekend? Well, on the way home I got a call from Cuz whom I had not heard from in a minute. He is the one family member that I count on the most. In fact, he and I will be turning out ATL at the Labor Day Black Gay Pride. Are you going to be there? You'll find me taking a turn at the table with Rashid Darden in the Black Pride Marketplace. And if you haven't read his novel, Lazarus, BUY THE BOOK! Shem hotep!!

Coretta Scott King said to suffer stroke!

ATLANTA (AP) - Coretta Scott King is mostly paralyzed on the right side of her body and faces a long, difficult recovery from a stroke, but she managed to say a few words Friday, her doctor said.
Dr. Maggie Mermin, King's personal physician, said that the 78-year-old widow of Martin Luther King Jr. is unable to walk and has been mostly unable to speak since the stroke Tuesday in the left side of her brain, which controls speech functions. read more>>>

Today Is My Birthday and ...

During my 53 years…

Eleven Presidents have occupied the White House
The U. S. Supreme Court outlawed segregation in public schools
My Momma and I were put off a train and forced to walk in the dark back to the train station during segregation of public transportation
I drank from water fountains marked “Colored” and bought food out of the back kitchen door of White-owned restaurants
President John F. Kennedy was assassinated
2 men molested me when I was eleven
Malcolm X was assassinated
A war raged in Vietnam
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “I have a Dream” speech
Sen. Robert F. Kennedy was assassinated
The NC National Guard peppered Scott Hall with bullets during student unrest at NC A & T State University in Greensboro, NC
Rioting began between patrons and police at Stonewall Inn in NYC
I survived a lot of nasty tasting home remedies for colds, and anything else that ails ya
I was the first Black student from my hometown (and all Black high school) admitted to Duke University (it was a big deal back then)
I was first in my family to join a Black Fraternity
I was the first in my family to get a graduate degree
I have owned 17 cars and 2 motorcycles
Ken Reeves, the first openly gay African American City Council member, was elected mayor of Cambridge by his fellow City Councilors.
I began a weblog that discusses many issues including gay issues but mainly to begin a journey
I lost someone very close to me to AIDS
I have worked enough years that I can retire at any time from my job
I lost 62 lbs. in the last year through diet and exercise (and Hell no, I ain’t sick)
I have met many good bloggers online and/or in person – yo Rashid, no4real4real, jerzeefinest, chosen brotha, Torrid Wind, Keith Boykin, Tim’m West, and all the other great ones!

So since I was born 8/17/1952, that makes me…
35 years 9 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 88
31 years 1 month younger than Nancy Reagan, age 84
28 years 2 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 81
20 years 11 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 73
18 years 9 months younger than Larry King, age 71
12 years 6 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 65
9 years 1 month younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 6
26 years 1 month younger than George W. Bush, age 59
1 year 1 month younger than Jesse Ventura, age 54
3 years 2 months older than Bill Gates, age 49
8 years 0 months older than Cal Ripken Jr., age 44
13 years 10 months older than Mike Tyson, age 39
17 years 11 months older than Jennifer Lopez, age 35
23 years 4 months older than Tiger Woods, age 29
29 years 10 months older than Prince William, age 23

and I was:
49 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
47 years old on the first day of Y2K
45 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
42 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
41 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
40 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
38 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
37 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
33 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
31 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
30 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space2
8 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
27 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began2
3 years old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July
21 years old when President Nixon left office
19 years old when Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot
16 years old at the time the first man stepped on the moon
15 years old when Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated
12 years old during the Watts riot
11 years old at the time President Kennedy was assassinated
7 years old when Hawaii was admitted as 50th of the United States
5 years old when the Soviet satellite Sputnik 1 was launched
not yet 1 year old at the end of the Korean War

I am humbly grateful to all of you who read this blog and who take time to offer your take on my evolutionary journey. Shem hotep!

The Conversation Continues - "Who Do You Love?"

My fellow blogger and friend (whom I admire greatly), no4real4real, posted an entry today that deserves continued discussion. I posted a comment but didn't want to take up all of his space since I do have this blog available, too. As you read his entry for August 16th titled "Who Do You Love?", no4real4real makes some really good points about self-acceptance and how it affects relationships with people around you. Since I don't have the poetic talents of no4real4real or Rashid Darden or Tim'm West, I have to rely on poetry created by others to illustrate my points (or find personal, spiritual guidance). There are two that I offer you that seem to have something for all occasions (like those boxes of cards my Momma used to buy), and here they are:

[IF] -- Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

This is the essence of self assurance wherein a balance is struck between you and the world around you. Then, you can walk into clubs and not be lonely, or worship in any church and not be disillusioned, or sit in the midst of homophobes and not feel threatened nor denigrated. I commend this poem to you. (Tomorrow is my birthday. I'll blog about it). Shem hotep!

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

These often quoted words only moderately describe the furious reaction of Terry McMillan to the revelation by her soon to be ex-husband, Jonathan Plummer. According to filings by Jonathan, Terry appears to have been "waiting to exhale" and is now a real fire breathing dragon.
If there is truly such a phenomena as the "Down Low," then here is a reason why bi-sexual males may be reluctant to discuss their sexual preference/orientation with their spouse/significant other. Jonathan's divorce declarations present some highly caustic accusations by Terry and may not be suitable for audiences under 50. So if you're thinking about coming out to your wife, significant other, girlfriend, etc., be sure you can either stomp with the big dogs or stay on the porch!

Those crazy inventions - Patent # 5,472,399

I think a picture is worth a thousand words, so I won't comment further on this marvelous invention, the APPARATUS FOR EXERCISING THE PENIS, that was patented by the U. S. Patent Office:

John H. Johnson, Publisher of Ebony/Jet Magazines, passes

John H. Johnson, 1918-2005, who brought the news to African-American households for more than 50 years as publisher of Ebony and Jet magazines has died at the age of 87. Born the grandson of slaves, he rose to international prominence with his publications, cosmetic lines, and fashion shows. Mr. Johnson's magazines were household 'must have' items for many of us who grew up in the 1950's and beyond. From the most eligible bachelors/bachelorettes to the most powerful black leaders of our times, Mr. Johnson gave us up close and personal access that helped to inform us and shape our views. He will be sadly missed by all Americans. Thank you John H. Johnson for a job well done. Rest in peace. Shem hotep!

Don't Ask; Don't Tell

This entry is inspired by Chosen Brotha's post on August 5th. Simple yet moving, it reminds us of the fragility of life, the effects of ill-advised national policies, and the tragic loss of lives including soldiers who work and fight to defend our countries even while living under the cloud of "don't ask, don't tell." As a former Army Reservist, Drill Sergeant and Infantry Officer, I still ache to see the loss of life in Iraq and other armed conflicts around the world. I have decided to share with you my perspective that was sent to Chosen Brotha on yesterday. "If you are near Andrews AFB, then you must really feel the tragedy of so manyAmericans returning home in coffins. Your photo was particularly poignant for me as I was an Army Reserve Drill Sgt. and Infantry Officer for 10 years. I saw poor training that would lead to mistakes and loss of lives. I have been out altogether now for 14 years, but I sometimes wonder if the training has improved. One of the problems was the training of soldiers took place in peacetime with no imminent threat of war. Thus, the soldiers and commanders did not do life or death training. I regret to say that the"touchy-feely" politically correct training going on(at least in 1991) when I left created vulnerable soldiers. Given the trend, I doubt if training has gotten better. " I am on my way to church now. I will offer a special prayer for all of those who continue to serve our country whether they are male or female, black or white or asian-american or hispanic american, or straight or gay. Shem hotep!

Speech by Keith Boykin

I am always fascinated by the remarks and thoughts of our brother, Keith Boykin. On August 4th, Keith delivered remarks to at the 2005 Black Gay Research Summit. In lieu of a blog or rant today, I commend to you his speech. Click the title of this post to read the excerpt. Practice safe sex this weekend and everyday. Shem hotep!

I.C.E. - A Public Service Announcement

Ok. From time to time, I may use this space to pass along some helpful tips. Here is one that I received this week that could save some lives. This is an easy, excellent and worthwhile safety tip that could save valuable time in an unfortunate situation. Please let's do this and spread
the word! Thanks!


Paramedics will turn to a victim's cell phone for clues to that person's identity. You can make their job much easier with a simple idea that they are trying to get everyone to adopt: I.C.E.
I.C.E. stands for In Case of Emergency. If you add an entry in the contacts list in your cell phone under I.C.E., with the name and phone no. of the person that the emergency services should call on your behalf, you can save them a lot of time and have your loved ones contacted quickly. It only takes a few moments of your time to do. Paramedics know what I.C.E. means and they look for it immediately. I.C.E. your cell phone NOW! Please pass this one along. It probably is a good idea to do this for your home phone as well.

Click the title of this blog entry for more information.

Shem hotep!

This morning at the gym

There are 2 dudes, LooksandBody and GoodVibes, that I have been checking out at the gym every morning. Both have great bodies but one has the looks to go with the bod while the other is whatever. Anyway LooksandBody has started bringing LittleDude with him and they pay no one else any attention. That's cool because he is still good eye candy and helps increase my metabolism on the treadmill (I won't go into my fantasies, but it helps when you're running 7.5 miles an hour - lol). Now GoodVibes is a strange character. On the gym floor, we make eye contact but no conversation (he uses a personal trainer). He is a buff little guy and reminds me a lot of MySon2 (see previous blog). When he gets to the locker room, still no conversation and I get a reluctant hello if I speak first. But the strange thing is that if he and I are alone in the men's sauna, then he is chatty. Today we talked about his desire to spend a week at a spa. (I should tell him about the resort in Key West that would fulfill his needs). Again, once outside the door, he becomes distant. Damn, I hate this on again/off again shyt (thanks SmilingOnThaDL for this word - missing you already bro.). Shem hotep!

Back from Vacationing

Well, after 2 weeks of driving in the mid-west, Canada and New England, not to mention a business trip to FL, I am finally home for a while. We logged 2800+ miles and spent 44 hours of driving time in the car. Now, that's what I call quality family time. For all of you young bloggers reading this, I highly recommend taking time off for yourself (Prodigal Sun got this right), and for all of you 'seasoned brothas' like me, do it while you still can. One of the highlights of this trip was dinner on last Thursday night with a young brotha who knows how to enjoy life, knows where his options are for the future, is charming as well, and is damn phyne as his blog picture. He can party with the best of 'em and still get to work on Monday morning. He's a good blogger and I look forward to our continuing chats.

So what do you do on a Sunday afternoon after traveling so much? Since my desktop computer has been fukking up and not letting me access the web through DSL, I have been relegated to dial up with my lap top. Well, I have had the equipment to set up a wireless network since March 2004, but I was too lazy to do it myself and I haven't had much success bribing, cajoling one of my buddies into doing it. Anyway, my desire to read/write blogs and use cams with some folks drove me to desperation. As of 20 minutes ago, I got this damn network configured. I have spent the sunny part of the afternoon doing this, and now it's raining like hell so I might as well stay in and use it.

To any of the brothas who I peeped in South Miami Beach on Saturday night, let me say y'all are some delicacies that makes a brotha want to relocate - LOL.

And finally to the brotha/blogger that I was chatting today, HAVE A GREAT TIME AT THE SUPER BALL tonight!! Wish I could be there.

And for those who clicked the picture link above, yep. I had a minute with no4real4real and that's FOR REAL.

Shem hotep!

Check out my frat's novel - Lazarus if you haven't already!!

Black Fraternity Survey

I received these questions from Rashid Darden's Group. I have elected to post the questions along with my own responses. Hope you will reply to Dr. DeSantis with your own reflections.

1. Do you think openly gay men should be allowed to join your fraternity? Why or why not?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes. Nowhere in our constitution and bylaws is there an indication that Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. was established to promote any particular sexual preference. In fact, our Jewels bonded to survive in an otherwise unsupportive environment. Moreover, our fraternity ought not deny opportunities for individuals to contribute to the whole of society through our many talents. We are doctors, lawyers, athletes, family members, janitors, barbers, etc. The synergy of our skills, talents and abilities make for a stronger and vibrant society. We are a part of that culturally rich society and make a significant contribution.

2. Do you think down low (closet bisexual) men should be allowed to join your fraternity? Why or why not?

Whether or not one wishes to openly display or discuss one's sexual preference is a personal matter. Again, I would never support screening applicants based on sexual orientation. I would encourage responsible behavior for ALL members - gay, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender.

3. Do you think covertly gay (closet homosexual) men should be allowed to join your fraternity? Why or why not?

See # 2.

4. Do you think being gay is wrong (morally, socially, ethically, religiously)? Please elaborate.

No. Sexual preference is as broad across the spectrum as skin color, intelligence, aptitude, socioeconomic status and any other psycho/social descriptor. Behavior that injures others is wrong irrespective of the sector from which it originates - incest, rape, pedophilia, religious zealotry, theft, etc. Being gay is being the person you are meant to be - created in the image of God. Those who want to literally interpret the Bible as a basis for discrimination can find the scriptures to justify their beliefs. The pharisees tried the same thing with Christ, but he reminds us that he came to fulfill the law through the good news of the Gospels. But let us go one step further and remember that the Bible conveniently leaves out Gospels that the Church deemed inconsistent with the tenets it wished to enforce. Thus, the Gospel of Mary that gives women greater prominence is not there, nor is the Gospel of Thomas by Didymos Judas Thomas with other recorded saying from Jesus.

5. What are the national stereotypes of each NPHC fraternity? Do these notions influence membership?

The stereotypes are typically heterosexual men with varying degrees of macho characteristics. But they are just that, stereotypes. Yes, they definitely influence selection of members, but wrongly so.

6. Do you know of any openly gay members? How are they treated by other brothers?

Yes. The relationship has not been a positive one for a relative who is an openly gay member of another fraternity.

Here are the questions without my responses if you choose to cut/paste them into an email with your reply to Dr. DeSantis. Please email your comments (which will remain confidential) to .

1. Do you think openly gay men should be allowed to join your
fraternity? Why or why not?
2. Do you think down low (closet bisexual) men should be allowed
to join your fraternity? Why or why not?
3. Do you think covertly gay (closet homosexual) men should be
allowed to join your fraternity? Why or why not?
4. Do you think being gay is wrong (morally, socially, ethically, religiously)? Please elaborate. 5. What are the national stereotypes of each NPHC fraternity? Do
these notions influence membership?
6. Do you know of any openly gay members? How are they treated by
other brothers?

Shem hotep!

Vacationing

If you've been checking out this blog, I haven't been posting b/c I am vacationing/traveling. Took my laptop but my ISP didn't have access numbers outside of the U.S. I'm back in U.S. now but still not at home. Will probably post something on Sunday (maybe about my dinner tonight with no4real4real). Stay tuned. BTW, if you haven't been to his site recently, hit him up and show a brotha some love. He could probably use some shout outs right now. Shem hotep!

Fathers and Daddys

I read several blogs on a daily basis. Yeah, ya could say that I'm becoming a blog addict the way I need these with my morning coffee. Don't even think about coming up on me without my daily dose of caffeine, no4real4real, Rashid and Keith Boykin. There are some others that I hit several times a week as well. One of them I read a day after it was posted, but it really hit home with me, struck a really raw nerve and got me thinking again (which is always dangerous). Check out the posting by Valentino-of-ATL (formerly CT)for July 12. In it he talks some about his father. Now I always put this term in my impersonal category as the "other half" of my biological equation with that being his only contribution to who I became from that point on. Like so many other black males, I grew up without a Dad in my life. Now when I use the term "Dad," I imply someone who is there for you, who bonds with you, who helps you learn manly stuff, and who eventually leaves you a fortune in the will (had to lighten this up some).

Well, my father failed the Dad test. I wasn't even told his name until I was 24. All I ever got before that was, I'll point him out to you someday. So, after finding out his name, I did a little investigating and three years later learned he had left our small southern town, Smalltown, behind and headed to the Big Apple. Tracked him down in Borough, called and said I wanted to come talk to him (actually I wanted to see him at least once before he departed for the happy hunting grounds). Well, in a one time 15 minute meeting, it is hard to imagine but he managed to piss me off 3 different times. Hey, the old fucker was good, averaging 1 asinine statement every 5 minutes. And here they are:
1. I always knew I had another son and wondered what your name was.
2. How is your older brother Albert (his name is Alfred and is his son as well); and
3. Yeah, I lived in Smalltown until 1970 (the year I turned 18 and he never once said hello, kiss my azz or nothing).
Now, I always had the impression that he lived elsewhere the whole time I was growing up. To make matters worse, his mother (my paternal grandmother) lived 3 blocks away on the same street in Smalltown; his son by his wife (my half-brother) and I were in homeroom together in high school but didn't know we were related; and his daughter by his wife (my half-sister) used to ride home to the neighborhood with me and my older brother after high school. Learned later that she knew about me and my brother and thought that I knew. (She is a blog all by herself for another day - bitch).
Bottom line is that even bad examples can help us grow. I was determined I was never going to be like him or abandon my kids no matter what. My 2 boys ain't perfect, but at least I was there for them as 'DADDY.'
Ok. Now I got to go to the gym and release some frustration. Oh yeah, my 'father' had been dead for 3 years by the time I heard about it. Well, he was late in my life for everything else, so why should the end have been any different.
Shem hotep.

Are you gay?

Now here is THE question that may be easier for those who are out but harder for those who are evolving. I believe no4real4real has appropriately titled his blog as "On My Way." The question was put to me today forthrightly by someone who is very out, open and working in a career that actively promotes gay causes. The question caught me off guard since I have never met this person face to face and only communicated with him through a few emails to promote a business enterprise of someone else. I am not going to tell you my answer to him. He nicely indicated that he asked because he didn't want to make any assumptions. Well, like no4real4real, I am on my way. If you look at my profile you will see that I am off to a late start. I still don't know where I am on my way to, but I definitely started on a new road about a month ago as I discovered some wonderful novelists (and you know who you are ;-) and people in the blog world. Plus, writing a blog helps me to explore some thoughts more completely as well as get input from some others. I value each of your comments as I engage in this journey. Not sure where it will lead me, but who knows maybe soon I will be able to answer THE question with certainty and no hesitation. By the way, since I mentioned no4real4real, I had to give y'all this glimpse of this black Adonis. Whew, is it hot in here or is it him!

Shem hotep.

"They're here. I'm going now."

I haven't been in church for several Sundays. Today I decided to go because I was visiting with a friend who was going. But this blog today is not about church or my church attendance or my relationship with God. Instead, this is a memory that settled on me during the sermon about someone that I lost 2 years ago this month during one of the most difficult periods of my life. Myson2 was the older brother of one of my adopted sons and lived with another family. He had always been the stronger of the two during the time they spent in the social service system, had endured abuse, molestation and many of the other horror stories that you sometimes hear about kids who are orphaned. At 6 years old, his mother died and neither of the baby daddies stepped forward to take these 2 kids (my son, Myson1 was just a week away from his 5th birthday). So Myson2 became the protector, mother, father and guardian for himself and his younger brother. Now fast forward 7 years. Myson2 and Myson1 are split up by the system and sent to separate homes. I am asked by DSS if I mind having the brothers keep in contact. I say "sure" and the visits between them pretty much leads to him becoming a part of my household on weekend, vacations, trips, etc. He chooses a name for me, Pops. And so, another father/son relationship is born. Our trust level reaches the point that he let's me know that he is gay, and without giving him details, I let him know that we have some common ground. By age 17, he is fairly much on his own - his foster parents are older folks who find having a teenager to be more than they can handle. Myson2 establishes a relationship with 30-something DlLover. For the next 10 years, they have an on/off/on relationship. It is hard to say who introduced who to HIV. I can only tell you that it cost the life of a beautiful, spirited young man who had a great deal of love to offer the world.

I mentioned that this was a really difficult period. Over the years, I had struggled with Myson1 who descended into the hell of drug use. During the final days of his brother's life, Myson1 was unable to think about anything but feeding his habit. This to the extent that he robbed my house and pawned the items under his own name (police reports). His story may come in another blog. Since the police were already looking for him on other charges, I didn't press any, but got an eviction order. During this time, DlLover got in touch with me while I was out of town to tell me that Myson2 had died, and that only Myson1 could handle arrangements as his only known surviving relative. Of course, he was caught and arrested which put him in no position to do anything. A charitable organization was finally able to gain custody of the remains and have them cremated. The memorial service was held a month and a half later. Myson1 convinced the sheriff's department to take him to the service. Since I couldn't bear to be in his presence at that point, I chose to stay away from the service.

I believe we all need closure when we lose a loved one. Fratman1906 who has always found it necessary to advise others did not take the road (to attend the service) and he has come to think about it many times. It is especially true every July when Myson2's memory is so strong in my mind. I will always celebrate his brief life and never forget his trusting gaze and easy laugh. Oh yeah, the attendant at the hospice told me that on the last night as he came on duty, he went into Myson2's room to check on him. He asked Myson2 if he was ok, and he replied "they're here; I'm going now." Then, closed his eyes and died.

Shem hotep (I go in peace).

Rashid Darden Razzle Dazzles Me!

First of all, I have been to more than a few places and met a great many people over my lifetime (remember I am "seasoned"). Plus in my work, I spend time with politicians, higher ed Presidents and a myriad of other personalities who can make you think you have seen it all, heard it all, and very nearly done it all. Yet, in the span of one afternoon/evening of quality time, Rashid Darden, author of Lazarus, managed to let me know the best is yet to come. We share a number of commonalities (I will let you ponder which ones) that probably led to our meeting. I can tell you that one attraction is our deep and abiding love for the characters in his premier novel. But I digress.

The place: Washington, DC - a place that I have traveled to for business, pleasure and family excursions since 1969. You would think that over that length of time, I would have seen so much of the City. And yet, seeing it with Rashid and through his eyes gives the District a whole new experience to be enjoyed. From Dupont Circle (a shout out here to Lambda Rising Bookstore) to his alma mater, to a great conversation over a honey vanilla latte (he ordered water) at Borders Bookstore, Rashid opens you up to new experiences.

The people: From bookstore owner and assistants to members of Alpha Phi Omega to kids in his neighborhood to his family (his Mom serves up a heavenly coconut pie), it is obvious that people who know him, love him. But this is the man who gave life to Adrian and Savion and told their story so vividly that you had to know that the author was a loving, spirited character himself. With hugs aplenty from his admirers, this young man is recognized in the community and has an incredible memory to recognize folks on the street from his journey. Ever the businessman, he whips out his business card and encourages folks to visit the Old Gold Soul website as he promotes Lazarus. Rashid is easily the valedictorian of the freshman class of gay, black authors that include Brent Dorian Carpenter, Alphonso Morgan, Frederick Smith, and Keith Boykin.

The sights: From his neighborhood, we watched July 4th fireworks. The sparkle not only came from the pyrotechnics that burst above our heads, but also from the sparkle in Rashid's eyes as he took note that for a few moments, his neighborhood kids could be kids again dazzled by the mini explosions around us, and his neighborhood parents could connect with their kids as they too looked toward the sky and briefly escaped the problems that become daily distractions.

The conversations: Did we talk about Lazarus? You bet [among other things ;-)]. Does he know where it will all lead? Definitely! Should readers stay on this literary train through the sequels? Unequivocably YES!! In the words of the O'Jay's Love Train - 'Cause if you miss it, I feel sorry, sorry for you.

Rashid, when you read this - A great big hug and thanks for a memorable day. Much love frat. '06 & peace.

Bruce Bruce

Yo everybody. Went to see Bruce Bruce at the comedy club last night. I think the camera makes him look bigger than he does in person (although he is no small person by any stretch of the imagination). But the point of this blog is to say it takes a strong person to sit in the front row of a comedy club where a comedian can see you. This poor fella last night was "brucelized" about his shirt. Bruce Bruce called it a LDS (little dude's shirt) and didn't let go until the end of the show. He even gave the guy a new tee shirt (autographed) so he could stop wearing the one that he had on. Now in all fairness, the shirt was old schoo,l and I had a few of them myself in the 70's. But for all of you who plan to fall up into a comedy club, especially with a black comedian, I say make sure your wardrobe is tight. Otherwise, be prepared to be "brucelized"! Peace & One.