Thursday, October 11, 2012

"Why I Oppose Gay Marriage"

The Washington Post published an op-ed piece on the topic of the Maryland Same Sex Law that is now on the ballot through a grassroots initiative. I think this comment on the article is one of the most eloquent that I have seen , and so I am reposting it here for your review. (Note the title of this blog is from the Washington Post opinion and is not my position. I support the commenter below). WP: "Why I Oppose Gay Marriage" Please weigh in with your comments:

from the Washington Post: "Why I Oppose Gay Marriage":

"SDK wrote:
10/2/2012 3:34 PM EDT
It's hard to understand people like this writer, other than to simply say that they are outside the mainstream of gay life. Gay people in settled relationships with children, like myself, both need and want marriage, not some new structure that is itself unproven. We are not breaking new ground. We are not different from straight people. My gayness does not define my life -- my toddler does.

I am fighting for marriage (and not some weird civil term) because I believe that marriage is the right container for my family. Maybe you spend your weekends at the bars -- maybe marriage seems foreign to you. I spend my weekends with my kids and they deserve a stable family -- a married family.

When the gay rights movement first started, gay sexuality was illegal in most states and homosexuals could lose their jobs, their children, even their freedom for the simple act of loving another adult human being. In that context, it is understandable that the first freedom we sought was sexual freedom.

But now that we are free to do as we will in a hotel room, we seek a deeper, more meaningful and more lasting freedom. This is not the freedom *from* constraints, *from* morality, but rather the freedom *to* create a stable family life and to be recognized as equal citizens when we do so.

Most gay people have realized that we are no longer teenagers. We want adult responsiblities and adult rights. Marriage is one of those rights. You may not want it for yourself -- but that's just not true for me and for most gay people. We want exactly the same rights AND the same rules that guide married life.

Marriage is hard. Raising children is hard. Balancing work and family and adult responsibilities is hard. We need more than an obscure legal term to pull us in. We need support and recognition, we need common words for common struggles. We need a loving community to pull us through. Even if civil unions were legal, I would seek marriage because I need *exactly* what you disparage -- the tradition and the permanancy it invokes. I do not need something new. I need something old.

What is new is that I claim it for my own. In that, I am no different from the first woman to attend medical school, the first African American lawyer, the first Catholic president. The fact that it is not tradition does not mean that you cannot "mess with it". It means that you have to work harder to claim your place.

This equality train is not stopping. Win or lose -- we are going to keep fighting for our families. We are a moral force, just like the moral force opposing us. You don't have to get on the train -- marriage is a personal choice. But the train isn't stopping -- so I suggest that you get out of its way."

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