Having My Say

One morning I had the opportunity to watch BET's "Meet the Faith." To set the stage for this discussion, here is the description from BET's website:"This heated and eye-opening conversation among guests Bishop E. Bernard Jordon, founder of Zoe Ministries; actress Sheryl Lee Ralph; and host of BETJ’s “My Two Cents,” Keith Boykin, will examine Black homosexuality -- its myths, realities and why it seems Blacks are more homophobic than other groups. The topic of has been heating up pulpits in Black churches across America for a few years now. And anti-gay sentiments are not only causing distrust in the Black church, they’re dividing the larger Black community. While some Black clergy and other Christian believers consider homosexuality a “mental disorder,” others say it is an abomination against God. Still others say that being gay is not a choice nor does it preclude one from being a child of God."The conversation that follows on the discussion board is sad. The large number of voices comes from the black religious right. It is filled with they usual condemnations, bible verses taken out of context, and venom. I hope that 1. more individuals of same sex desires will post comments, and 2. the discourse remain civil. Whether the gay rights movement should be compared to the civil rights movement is not as critical as whether the black community should be torn apart by homophobia.Even as I write this, there are men and women, teens struggling to survive after being separated from the family units that should be there to support them. One young man that I know of has critical health issues that could happen to any of us without regards to sexuality, but is cut off from the family that should be there for him now because of his homosexuality. The ability to love one another as Christ has loved us in lost in the uproar over how we live the lives that God has given us. The Bible has been and continues to be used to justify much wrong. But in the end, even those abuses will be wiped away as the real truth unadulterated by the tampering of men through the centuries is finally revealed. We need to be careful of how our community is being divided and what motivations are behind other groups who are using the faith of black people to win political elections and destroy unity.Appropriately, the day before the broadcast at a convention of the United Church of Christ, Sen. Barack Obama rightly cautioned that some right wing evangelical leaders have exploited and politicized religious beliefs in an effort to sow division. He says, "somehow, somewhere along the way, faith stopped being used to bring us together and faith started being used to drive us apart." He goes on to add that "faith got hijacked, partly because of the so-called Christian Right, all to eager to exploit what divides us." We need to reclaim our real moral center that truly motivates us that "ye love one another, as I [Christ] have loved you" - John 15:12. The Word of God for the people of God. I could not agree more wholeheartedly. Just having my say. Hotep.

Gay Marriage Group Tries New Tactic

(AP) Proponents of same-sex marriage have introduced an initiative that would put a whole new twist on traditional unions between men and women: It would require heterosexual couples to have kids within three years or else have their marriages annulled. Initiative 957 was filed by the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance, which was formed last summer after the state Supreme Court upheld Washington's ban on same-sex marriage. In that 5-4 ruling, the court found that state lawmakers were justified in passing the 1998 Defense of Marriage Act, which restricts marriage to unions between a man and woman.

Under I-957, marriage would be limited to men and women who are able to have children. Couples would be required to prove they can have children to get a marriage license, and if they did not have children within three years, their marriages would be subject to annulment. All other marriages would be defined as "unrecognized" and people in them would be ineligible to receive any marriage benefits.

"Absurd? Very," the group says on its Web site, which adds it is planning two more initiatives involving marriage and procreation. "But there is a rational basis for this absurdity. By floating the initiatives, we hope to prompt discussion about the many misguided assumptions" underlying the Supreme Court's ruling. Gregory Gadow, who filed I-957 last month, said the three-year timeframe was arbitrary. "We did toy with the idea of (requiring) procreation before marriage," he said. "We didn't want to piss off the fundamentalists too much." Gadow said that if the group's initiatives were passed, the Supreme Court would be forced to strike them down as unconstitutional, which he believes would weaken the original ruling upholding the Defense of Marriage Act. But he said he highly doubts any of the initiatives will pass, and that they are being done "in the spirit of political street theater." "Our intention is not to actually put this into law," he said. "All we want is to get this on the ballot and cause people to talk about it." The group's Web site gives another reason: "And at the very least, it should be good fun to see the social conservatives who have long screamed that marriage exists for the sole purpose of procreation be forced to choke on their own rhetoric."

Cheryl Haskins, executive director of Allies for Marriage & Children, agreed with Gadow's group on at least one point about the initiative: "It's absurd," she said. Haskins said opponents of same-sex marriage "have never said that the sole purpose of marriage is procreation."

The New Lynch Mob

In the generation ahead of my own, the lynching of black people in America and black men in particular was a much feared act of terror. Anything from looking at whites the "wrong" way to accusations of rape would leave to a horrible murder of our people. The photographs of mutilated black men hanging from tree limbs exist in many historical collections today. In more than a few instances, the photos shows the genitals severed and then stuffed in the mouths of the victims. Fear of our blackness, hatred of our sexuality created a ghastly living hell for black men in America. All of these photos remind us of how inhuman one group of people with deep seated hatred of another race can perpetrate the most heinous crimes in humanity often without penalties of any kind.

Today, another black man is dead. He is one among a growing number of a new generation of men whose sexuality threatens the norm and triggers gross acts of violence. Just over a week ago, Michael Sandy, a 28 year old black, gay man from Brooklyn, was lured to an area by four men from his AOL instant messenger. But for Michael something went terribly wrong.

From the Daily News: "At some point, he broke free and ran onto the roadway, where he was struck by a car in the center lane, according to police. The driver of the car that struck Sandy did not stop. The assailants dragged his battered body off the highway—leaving him for dead only after one rifled through his pockets."
October 12th was Michael's 29th birthday but instead of celebrating with friends and family, Michael clung to life as his family struggled with the decision of whether to continue his life support. Eventually, they decided to let nature take its course and Michael Sandy died on October 13th. He is another victim of gay bashing, the new lynching offense in an America that must always find a new reason to hate.

There were memorials this week for Michael Sandy. Websites extolled his wonderful personality and the grief that his family must now endure. Michael was honest about himself and to those who knew him. His webpage at Friendster indicated his interest in meeting men. And because he chose to live honestly and forthrightly in a country that purports to value honesty and diversity and freedom, he now joins the ranks of victims to a cruel and mean "new lynch mob" intent on denying the right to live, love, and exist side-by-side in America.
Words of sympathy can hardly salve the wounds inflicted on his family. Nevertheless, I offer them along with a prayer that justice will be done in this instance and all of these gay bashings (new lynchings). For as long as this hatred exists for whatever reasons, America is diminished.

There has not been a great deal of press coverage in the mainstream about Michael's death and the surrounding circumstances. That is not uncommon these days as the black community and the greater society continue to try to ignore the presence of same gender loving black Americans. But it is incumbent upon you and me to give notice that these crimes "will not go quietly into the night." We must speak up, speak out, and speak boldly. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said that "a time comes when silence is betrayal." We cannot betray the Michael Sandys and the Rashawn Brazells of America. America cannot claim moral leadership in the world as long as it continues to shelter those who would lynch, bash, and murder its own people who simply choose to exist in truth and freedom.

Michael Sandy is gone. But he leaves behind some precious memories for those who may have known him. On is AOL messenger, Michael says:

"a real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
Hotep.

I am still here

I know it has been a minute since I have written on this blog or posted on some others. To all of you who have sent emails or "what ups" I want to say thank you and that I appreciate you so very much. One of the things I have learned about blogging is that beyond the ruminations on sundry topics, there also exists the possibility to develop some very good friendships.

I have discovered some wonderful people on this journey that began for me in March 2005. No doubt some of you will be with me until our appointed time. I have no plans for an early departure, but I just wanted to say thanks for some great memories and conversations. One of the best things to have happened to me is to have started a conversation with someone on a blog (I have 2 going), have that conversation move to telephone, then to a meeting, and to open up the possibility for more.

I read just this weekend on a blog the question "Is it possible to be in a relationship where one person cares more than the other." I can say unequivocably yes, and I would further add that the one who cares more really needs to have a strong and realistic sense of how that relationship is constructed and where it is going to remain in it. This may seem like rambling now, and you may well have guessed that I find myself in just such a place. Nevertheless, it is based on honest conversation between us, and therefore we are both fully aware that this may never reach "the mountaintop."

I am not sure why we sometimes love so deeply those that we cannot have. His reasons are sound and valid. Doesn't make it hurt any less though when you feel your life has been changed in a way that cannot ever be restored. I am riding out a hurricane of emotions, but I know that inevitably the storm will pass and I will survive.

And while I cannot sing all of this song just yet, I believe it will happen for me with someone:

Larry Graham - "One In A Million You"
Love had played its games on me so long
I started to believe I'd never find anyone
Doubt had tried to convince me to give in,
said, "You can't win"
But one day the sun came a shinin· through
The rain had stopped and the skies were blue
And oh, what a revelation to see
Someone was saying "I love you" to me

A one in a million chance of a lifetime
And life showed compassion
And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"
A one in a million you
I was a lonely man with empty arms to fill
Then I found a piece of happiness to call my own
And life is worth livin·again
For to love you to me is to live

A one in a million chance of a lifetime
And life showed compassion
And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"
A one in a million you
A one in a million chance of a lifetime
And life showed compassion
And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"
One in a million you
A one in a million you


Hotep my friends.

The Epitome of Failure

Check this out!
1. Go to http://www.google.com/
2. Type in Failure
3. Look at the first listing

Today Is My Birthday and ...

I will let you figure out my age since I am:

35 years 9 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 89
31 years 1 month younger than Nancy Reagan, age 85
28 years 2 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 82
20 years 11 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 74
18 years 9 months younger than Larry King, age 72
12 years 6 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 66
9 years 1 month younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 63
6 years 1 month younger than George W. Bush, age 60
1 year 1 month younger than Jesse Ventura, age 55
3 years 2 months older than Bill Gates, age 50
8 years 0 months older than Cal Ripken Jr., age 45
13 years 10 months older than Mike Tyson, age 40
17 years 11 months older than Jennifer Lopez, age 36
23 years 4 months older than Tiger Woods, age 30
29 years 10 months older than Prince William, age 24

and that I was:

49 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
47 years old on the first day of Y2K
45 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
42 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
41 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
40 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
38 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
37 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
33 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
31 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
30 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
28 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
27 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
23 years old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July
21 years old when President Nixon left office
19 years old when Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot
16 years old at the time the first man stepped on the moon
15 years old when Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated
12 years old during the Watts riot11 years old at the time President Kennedy was assassinated
7 years old when Hawaii was admitted as 50th of the United States
5 years old when the Soviet satellite Sputnik 1 was launched
not yet 1 year old at the end of the Korean War

Now how old am I?

Find out about your birthday!

For Gays on the Streets, Survival Comes Before Pride

This article appeared a year ago (June 2004) in the NY Times. Sometimes, these issues get a minute of publicity and then fade from the public consciousness. I had an opportunity to observe firsthand the plight of some of these youth on the pier at the end of Christopher St. this spring. I also wrote about what I saw then.

In an effort to keep your attention on this serious issue facing our black, same gender loving youth, I remind you now of this article and encourage you to contribute your time, energy and money to help alleviate some their suffering and help give them a start toward being self sufficient black men. This is the story of OUR CHILDREN.

By ANDREW JACOBS

David Antoine's coming out last year did not exactly fill his family with pride. A few months shy of his high school graduation, Mr. Antoine said, his mother told him to pack his bags, and he was suddenly out on the icy streets of Brooklyn, his life stuffed into a trash bag, his bed the hard back of a subway car rumbling from one end of the city to the other.

Brian Murray is still trying to find his place in what is known as the gay community. A good night is the soft bed of a stranger and $100 in the morning. A bad night is an empty stomach, a park bench and the rousing jolt of a nightstick on his bare feet as he is ordered to move on.

Like Mr. Antoine and Mr. Murray, his friends, Michael Leatherbury, 25, would consider cheering his gay brothers and sisters marching down Fifth Avenue this afternoon if he had a few coins in his pocket and a place to call his own. No sense flirting with strangers, he says, when home is a lumpy cot in a city shelter. "Being homeless is not exactly conducive to dating," he says with a shrug. "These days, I'm not feeling very prideful."

Click here to read more....

From Fratman:

Step out of your comfort zone and do something to help someone who so desperately need your help. Find an organization that will feed, clothe and/or give a bed to these youth in your city or another. I suggest you start with GMAD. For more information about homelessness among homeless LGBT youth and a lists of shelters in your state, see the Safe Schools Coalition website. If you know of others, feel free to post them here in the comments section for others to see. Be sure to include contact information.

Hotep.

(Since I posted this, I have received one comment from the Captain. I hope you will also respond because as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. has said:

"History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.")