Sunday, November 27, 2005

Domestic Abuse and Violence in Gay Relationships (Part III)

Earlier, I provided entries on this topic from discussions with friends who have been victims of domestic partner violence within gay relationships. You have heard from Maxim and Tandy. Now hear the interview of a young man who observed violence between his friends and was involved in incidents of his own.

Fratman1906: Hello Libra03. Thanks for agreeing to talk with blog readers and me on this serious topic. As you know, I have posted on this previously after talking with some victims. You bring a different perspective, and I hope that your forthrightness will educate some folks who may be suffering right now and need a little push in the right direction. We have talked about domestic abuse. Let's start with your observations from having to go to an emergency room to be with someone who has been a victim. Tell us about that.
Libra03: It was weird to be an outsider looking in at this; it was almost like a dream. I knew that the two of them had a violent relationship but I didn’t know it was that serious. It all began over the two of them messing with the same boy.
Fratman1906: Did you know they were messing with the same boy? How did they find out about each other?
Libra03: I didn’t know that...well here it is.... the one who is more my friend is named Jason and has this friend from VA that he calls his little gay son, and who comes up from time to time. Apparently one time he came up and the two of them had a sexual encounter. Jason has a live in lover that he is off and on with named JM who found out about Jason and his buddy and in return decided he was going to get even and hook up with the friend as well.
Fratman1906: Did JM and Jason have fights b4?
Libra03: Of course but nothing of this severity that I’m aware of.
Fratman1906: Was one pretty much dominant over the other? That is was one constantly a victim and the other an abuser?
Libra03: No, both were equally as bad. Well, it all came out and the drama began. It was August, the night of Brooklyn pride and also JM's birthday
Fratman1906: How did the violence begin? Were they fairly even in size or was one much bigger than the other?
Libra03: Equal in size. Jason is a little shorter but overall equal. Jason promised JM that he was going to ruin his birthday. It all began with arguing in the club. Jason wore this t-shirt that read something like “I mess with only the best” or something like that. The two of them were arguing outside and in the club; mix that with drinks and it’s a mess. JM is also the person who throws parties at this nightclub called The City. Jason called the police and said that they were selling drugs in there and that it was over the allowed capacity. The cops came and closed the party. No one knew what had happened except me because I was there when he had called.
Fratman1906: Go on.
Libra03: So now party over...we were supposed to go over to their house in Brooklyn for more partying...Jason and JM house. While we were on our way there, we get a call asking where we were and I that is when all of the fighting began at the house. When we pulled up, there was an ambulance sitting out front with the back doors open. Then my buddy and I walkover there because he noticed a pair of timberlands outside the ambulance. We find Jason bleeding from his head. It was a mess...blood all over his clothes and everything. I was in awe and immediately asked what happened. He said that JM and his two friends came to the house and jumped him. So, we went to the hospital and he was given a staple in his head.
Fratman1906: Was this fight one of several physical fights that they had had aside from arguments?
Libra03: Yes.... but nothing of that severity; that was over the top. Apparently, JM came home, John had people over there, and the door was locked. He was upset about that and he told everyone to get out his house. Actually, JM’s two friend are the ones who told Johns friends to leave. When they left, John went to get his shoes to leave as well but John and JM got into it, and the fight began. Then John and JM's friends started fighting. Believe it or not, the two are still living together and I am sure still involved.
Fratman1906: That was going to be one of my questions, if they were together now.Libra03: Yep...they have a really nice place in Harlem but they have torn it up from all the fighting--holes in the walls and broken doors

To Be Continued As Libra03 tells of his own domestic violence...

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